Saturday, April 18, 2009

If this is funny in heaven then count me out.

So I was in Redwing MN promoting a Biker Rally that I am helping to put on. I was hungry so I stopped at Pizza Hut because yes I love that shit and have not had in about 3 years. Anyway I was by myself so I like to read when I eat. There was no paper so I settled on this Lunch Tibits of Redwing I think it was called the Flash. I started reading it and the front had the same old shit what happened yesterday stupid news. What I love about these things is the trivia I look for it its fun and usually harmless. Well The Flash destoryed that feeling the questions were ,When does a fetus grow fingernails? What now? So the rest of them went on like that right under that they had the daily humor that went like this.

A man was wondering about the universe and he asked god What is a second to you? God said its a million years. The man said well how much is a million dollars to you? God said its a penny. HMMM said the man well could I have a penny? God said just give me a minute.


I would hope that God thought that sex is funny or life is funny or the fact that we go so crazy about being right for him. I really hope that that crap in the Flash makes him shake his head in dismay. If God thinks its funny then I will ask for a one way trip to hell upon my judgement day. I would rather burn for all of time with Geroge Carlin and Lenny bruce then be subjected to that Crap!


Kris said...

God isn't a man, Tony. God is a fat, black, poor and handicapped, old single-mother lesbian with a high IQ.

Al said...

And she's running for president.

Other questions on that quiz:

Q: What sort metal device did women mutilate themselves with while trying to perform at-home abortions before they were made legal?

Q: Multiple choice - Your 12 year old daughter is raped and nearly killed. Do you: a) force her to carry and deliver the rapist's child - b) pretend it didn't happen and comment that she seems to be gaining weight during the next few months or - c) TAKE CARE OF IT.

Q: What current medical procedure makes baby Jesus cry?

Q: Which bible verse states that the health and well-being of the mother is more important than the life of the fetus?

A: Exodus 21 22-23 ""If some men are fighting and hurt a pregnant woman so that she loses her child, but she is not injured in any other way, the one who hurt her is to be fined whatever amount the woman's husband demands, subject to the approval of the judges. But if the woman herself is injured, the punishment shall be life for life."